If you’re waiting to feel better before you start living your life, that time is never going to come. You have to start living, now, as hard as it may be. It’s in discovering the things that you value, and taking daily consistent action in the directions of those values, that you will heal.
I still have thoughts pop up that my brain wants to react to with OCD patterns. Even just today. What I do now when those things come up is one of a few things:
- I move towards it. I amplify it. I make it as scary as it could possibly be, and stay with that as long as I need to, which is exactly as long as the negative feeling persists.
- I say, “Thank you!!! I’m so happy that you’re here.” And nothing more. That’s it. Just “Thank you.” Because you’re here, I can learn to be even stronger for myself.
- I decide that I’m not practicing mental illness. If I were to choose to try to make myself feel better, to try to counter the thought, to go to battle with OCD in this way, I would be practicing mental illness. I want mental health, not mental illness. You have to love yourself enough to make this decision, and KNOW that you and your life are worth it.
- I remember that even though it feels like danger, that does not in fact mean that it is. How many times in the past has a similar feeling come up, that I allowed myself to sit with, and then following that, the exact same situation was just fine. I was fine. I can handle fear, or anxiety, or sadness, or shame, or guilt. I can handle it and I’m not going to die from it.
There are SO MANY ways that you can choose to react or respond. Arm yourself with the knowledge and know that, when OCD comes up, you have a choice. Are you going to participate? Or are you going to choose that you love life enough, that you want to be free. The choice is up to you.
I believe in you, and know that you have the strength if you want this bad enough. Sending you my love.