For many of us who are empaths, or who feel things deeply, we don’t always have the best relationship with our emotions.
Maybe, if you’re like me, there was a time in your life where you had no relationship.
If you felt something less than comfortable, you ran from it, were confused by it, or you stayed in your head.
There are many reasons how we handle difficult emotions can develop in this way, for example, just simply not learning the skills to feel what your feeling growing up!
So I want to offer three quick tips to improve the relationship you have with your emotions. I think it can be fundamental in creating more ease, peace, and fulfillment in our lives, and it can empower us to take action based on our intuition and what really matters to us, rather than feeling like our emotions are driving us.
Also, side note, I absolutely believe it’s important to listen to what our emotions are telling us. They are messengers. And that’s a side topic. I don’t want to confuse you or minimize their importance. Today however, I’m speaking to when we stuff down, run from, manipulate, or try to “fix” our emotions.
Tip #1 Come to your senses.
So an easy way to reconnect with what you’re feeling is to literally come to your senses. By this I mean, where are you feeling the emotion in your body? Get really present with that. Maybe take a breath. Really sink in and notice. Is it in your gut, your head, your face, your chest? What’s the location? When you get back into your body, you get back to where the emotion actually lives.
When we take what we’re feeling up into our head, we get “blender brain”, and we take the emotions around and around and around, which leads to confusion and skews what we’re actually experiencing.
So, take it out of your head and into your body.
This can also help you calm down, because often times, we amplify things when we get in our heads about it.
Tip #2 Notice what story you’re telling yourself about what you’re feeling.
Making it mean something matter-of-factly?
Telling yourself you shouldn’t feel the way you’re feeling?
This also amplifies things.
Maybe what you’re feeling is exactly what you need to be feeling.
Who says you shouldn’t be feeling that?
Who are you to say you shouldn’t feel sad, upset, embarrassed, hurt…?
Feelings really, when we allow them, are things that move through us. We’re just a vessel.
Tip #3 Pause.
You can plan in a few times a day when you’re going to just check in with yourself. This is particularly helpful if you’re at a place right now where you feel really disconnected from what you’re feeling and identifying that. So this might mean setting a little check in a alarm, and taking a few breaths when that goes off, and just checking in. You can get curious. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling in this moment?” or simply say the following and fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind first: “I feel ______.”
That’s it. This simply helps you start to reconnect with what you’re feeling. Notice what comes up in doing this quick and simple exercise.
If you’re already really in touch with what you’re feeling, and are more so looking to improve how you’re handling things, then instead of a timer, I’d recommend finding something meditative each day where you can release whatever emotions need to be released. Meditation can be perfect for this, or journaling, or exercise. These can all be really healthy ways to pause. When you pause, you give yourself space to feel what you’re feeling, and you offer yourself a way to release anything that needs to move through you and be released.
We can be so go go go. Pausing, even briefly, to identify what we’re feeling, or to give ourselves space to really feel that thing, is a great way to improve our relationship with our emotions.
I think it’s so common when things feel difficult to use unhealthy means to cope. Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. But when you start to improve your relationship with your emotions, whether that’s becoming more aware of them, allowing yourself to actually feel them, or releasing judgements and stories you have about them, you start to transform this relationship.
And you start to realize that this full range of emotions is actually a BEAUTIFUL thing!! We’re meant to feel it all.
It’s a totally different way of living and seeing things.
It can be incredibly empowering and freeing.
My wish for you in 2017 is to feel more empowered, to create the space for more of YOU to show up, all your light and love, in a the glory and messiness. Because, the world needs you.
Remember, YOU are more than your thoughts or your emotions. You are an amazing soul here with a unique purpose, and your potential is LIMITLESS.
Sending you love today, whenever this message finds you.