I’ve been trying to think back recently, now being on “the other side” of OCD, to what I did to recover. I mean I know what I did, but sitting down to think through all of the HOW, so that I can share it with you, has been adding another level to it.
How do you share that? There was so much that happened. There were decisions I made, practices I developed, support I sought out…
But I want to share with you today one vital piece that was pivotal, and now being able to reflect and see what all the pieces were that came together, this is one that has to be there.
And this piece is that, I made a decision.
It was some smaller decisions but also one big, permanent, from-my-core-knowing decision.
And that was that: I was going to recover. Fully. And not just recover, but create mental HEALTH. And not only mental health, but JOY, BLISS, PEACE, EASE, and a undeniable sense and knowing of the powerful woman that I was.
I made a decision, and no matter what I had read, or how hard it got (because you’ll read all sorts of shit, and it WILL get hard), I kept this knowing in the back of my mind and in my heart of where I was going. I trusted this decision, because I knew in my core that it was possible, no matter what I heard or what anyone said. And this is in part because I sought of examples of those who had fully overcome OCD and were not only healthy, but THRIVING. There weren’t many examples out there, to be honest, so I found the one or two I could, and latched on to that. LOL.
Even in the times of feeling just so defeated, and powerless even, I never went back on this decision. Even if I doubted it, I kept it in front of me knowing it was possible no matter the doubts.
Because your truth is whatever you decide it to be. You can make it as big and wonderful as you want. But far too often, we make it small, and base it in fear, and what we don’t want to happen.
There were times where I doubted this decision, and the possibility to fully recover. But when doubts like this come up, it’s your mind and not your true self that is doubting. It’s that small OCD voice, or ego voice, that doesn’t realize your full potential. So you can allow them to be there, without owning them or making them your truth.
I think deep down I knew that. And no matter what, I kept going. Because what was the alternative? Even as hard as it was, I was fiercely committed to always finding a way.
There’s a difference between a victim mindset and an empowered one: When you choose an empowered mindset, even when things are hard, you know that you are responsible for your life and you create your reality. You know that you have a choice. You are not a victim unless you choose to be.
Because one of the smaller decision I had made was that, “I’m not supposed to feel this anxious all the time. I’m pretty sure life is not supposed to feel this way.” It was just a knowing that had come to me that, there had to be a better way. And by “not supposed to feel this anxious,” I don’t mean that my feelings were wrong or it shouldn’t have been the way it was, but rather, that I knew my life was meant for something greater. And that was something I could create.
So I put one foot after the other. I researched, read everything I could find that called out to me, listened to podcasts, worked 1:1 with a coach, and DID THE WORK.
And I still do the work. Everyday. I decide everyday to love who I am, and to show up for myself, and to stay fiercely committed to living a life guided by my intuition, and continuing to show up more and more authentically as my self in this world. I live embracing uncertainty, because I have a solid foundation in my relationship with myself, FAITH, my truths that will continue to evolve, and knowing that I can handle whatever comes my way.
We all have a great purpose, and the more we can become who we truly are, the more we can live this purpose. Moving through recovery from OCD allows you to remove the layers that block you and dim you down, so that you can show up in this world free and your true authentic self, in all your amazingness!
We’ve got this one life. So make decisions that will serve you best. Decide from a place of LOVE, and from that voice inside that just knows, know matter how quiet it might be. And honor that decision, no matter what comes up, how hard it may get at times, or how long it takes you to get to your next destination.
Anything is possible.
You just have to decide.