Are you scared of what will happen if you change? Do you keep bumping up against a block to moving forward?
I was speaking to someone recently who was realizing a block she had in the way of the change she wanted ~ In order to have what she wanted, she was unsure of what it would be like in the in between, and what it be like when she got there. And that didn’t feel safe.
What would she feel? What would happen?
She had a fear of letting go of what was, even though it wasn’t working for her.
And though her current situation was limiting AND hurting her, at least it was familiar. At least it was known.
Can you relate?
As humans, we have this innate desire to stay comfortable. To stay in the known. In fact, it’s wired into our brains ~ The subconscious wants you to keep doing what you’re doing because, after all, you’re alive. You’ve survived!
“This is safe then,” it says. And in an attempt to keep it that way, it will send signals of danger (fear and anxiety) when you try something new.
Can you recall a time where you had an irrational fear about doing something new? Maybe the fear even felt rational and justified and right – Maybe the new thing felt matter-of-fact dangerous ~ even when it was just about having a vulnerable conversation, putting yourself out there, or picking a different seat in class – All relatively non-life-threatening actions 😉
For many of us, without knowing it, we create the habit of being comfortable. Of staying. Of continuing on with the same. Of going to the same seat in the classroom… There’s something our brain really likes about it…
Even if “the same” is not what we want!
So when you want to begin to break free, to recover, to go after a dream, or to change your life, it can feel very difficult and scary, at first!
You may even feel stuck, like it’s impossible, or like you’re being blocked by something.
So what does it take to move forward? To be able to move through this, and have something, or be something, different?
There’s no big secret. There’s no magical thing that those who move forward have, and those who stay stuck, do not.
In fact, when you break it down. It’s relatively simple. Though simple does not always mean easy 🙂
If you think about a heavy ball rolling down a hill, it’s just going to keep rolling in that direction, if it’s just up to nature alone.
It takes a conscious decision and intervention to see the ball, step out to slow the roll, and begin pushing it in the other direction.
Eventually, you can get to the top of the hill and let the ball down the other side – the side that represents the way you DO want things to be – and it will begin to roll naturally in that direction. But, at first, it requires that conscious effort and a decision.
You see, with change, the truth is you don’t know what’s going to happen. You can’t know what you’re going to feel in some future situation. You can’t know exactly what it will look like. It’s still unseen. Unmanifested.
You can, however, be willing and open, and set yourself up in the best way possible.
This requires FAITH. And finding a way to trust yourself and in Life supporting you.
And guess what? You probably will feel uncomfortable. Which is why this also requires courage ❤ (of which you have more than you realize). ❤
I’ll be honest with you ~ In every change I’ve made in my life – any dream I’ve made a reality, or amazing thing I’ve co-created – I had to go through periods of being very uncomfortable in one way, shape, or form.
I still do it all the time.
In fact, at this point, I welcome and encourage the discomfort ~ staying the same would feel a bit boring, stagnant, and limiting to me…
A mentor once told me, “Comfort is overrated.” I took that to heart 🙂 Staying the same is just not in line with what matters to me, and a life I love – that’s full of aliveness, growth, freedom, authenticity, love, expression, joy, passion, and fun ❤
So the naked truth is: you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. It’s a part of change. It’s a part of moving through to the other side.
And it may even feel like you’re going to die! I’ve felt it almost that intensely before. Remember ~ the natural reaction from your subconscious is to produce that fear and anxiety in an attempt to keep you safe (aka the same).
There have been many times where I had to break through this resistance to letting go because of the intense fear and anxiety that came along with the unknown. And instead, I had to allow it to be there and just take a leap. Just have faith. Just trust… Not knowing for sure, but proceeding anyways.
For a long time, I resisted it so much. I would’ve rather just known what it would be like, and that I would like it, it would feel good, and I’d get there… I would’ve rather been sure, and comfortable. But in order to move forward and change, I didn’t have those luxuries.
Instead I just had a vision, a desire, even just a sense or single idea (sometimes the vision isn’t yet there). Or simply a dissatisfaction and a desire for something better. Something more. I had possibilities, and faith.
I had to feel the fear, and do it anyway.
I remember years ago my coach sharing with me some possibilities – what she had seen for herself and other women. There were things that I so deeply desired, yet they felt far off. Even things that felt so far from reality. Like a pipe dream. Yet still, a part of me believed that it was possible, and I kept going.
I didn’t know the unknown. I was seeing and believing in the unseen. As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “You’ll see it when you believe it.“
Moving forward and changing requires this willingness. You have to be willing to try (sometimes A LOT) of different things. I believe it took 10,000 attempts before Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb… He said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
You may not need that many tries 😉
(In fact as long as you simply give something a fair try, you can get a sense if it’s for you or not. I experience lot of trial and error… but always the willingness and the perseverance to keep going.)
So there’s no big secret. And anyone can do this. You simply have to find a way to cultivate that faith, that trust in yourself and in Life (even if just a tiny bit), and, with courage… LEAP.
And when that fear comes up (because it will), you can thank it. You’re wiser now, and know that – it’s just doing it’s job. In fact, you can expect it, and know that it’s a sign that you’re human and your systems are working 😉
But you don’t have to take action based on the fear and anxiety. With this knowledge, plus a little faith, courage, willingness… you now have a choice.
If you’re willing and open, it’s all downhill from there. Bigger changes may require this process over and over. And you will have to cultivate patience, perseverance, and focus.
But any change you desire is possible. And I guarantee: the unknown is worth it.
Sending you love sweet one. You’ve got this!!