In our culture, the word “vulnerable” is assumed to connote a weakness.
What does this word mean to you?
The truth is, vulnerability in my eyes is not a weakness. It’s actually a feminine energy, and one of the feminine superpowers.
The ability to be vulnerable has been a characteristic and strength I’ve been practicing for many years to cultivate more deeply in my life.
To slow it down for a sec, if you’re not familiar with the difference between masculine and feminine energies, masculine energies are more of the linear, doing energies – like logic, giving, and assertiveness. Whereas the feminine energies are more fluid, receptive and being – like receiving, intuition, and collaboration.
Because we live in a culture where the masculine energies are far more understood, encouraged, and accepted than the feminine energies, it would make sense that vulnerability could be misunderstood for weakness. It’s a more receptive and being energy, and in many ways we’re taught that doing is better than being.
Neither are right or wrong, good or bad, but they can be used differently and are powerful in different ways. (And to note, no matter your gender, you have masculine and feminine energies within you.)
If connection is something you’d love more of in your life, allowing yourself to be a bit more vulnerable will create this for you.
We spend so much time in life trying to control, keep it together, and appear “strong”, right? Yet these is so much beauty and realness in the ability to let go and be vulnerable.
So what does that look like?
One of the ways I’ve helped my clients lean into their own vulnerability is through authentic communication. There’s a very simple template for this, and it looks like:
“I feel ____(state your feeling, such as happy, sad, frustrated) ____ when ____(state *objectively* the specific behavior or event) ____.”
You can use this for both positive or negative events. Imagine how good you’d feel to hear your partner say, “I feel so loved when you hug me right when you get home!” 🙂
It’s simply letting someone in a little. ❤
Another way to practice vulnerability is by taking off a mask. We get so caught up in how we think we should be and what we think we should do, that we try so hard to “have it all together”. What if you had permission to be messy?
Being in community with other supportive people has helped me to practice vulnerability in this way, and create deeper connection by letting myself be myself. More and more, I see how it’s very much ok for me to not be perfect. I see how, even if I was trying to be the way I thought I should be, people still see me, so might as well relax and not try so hard. 😜
If you’ve been under the misconception that you have to have it all together, not show your feelings, and hide some of the softer parts of yourself, know that these parts are just as lovable and acceptable. Of course there is a time and place for everything, but I encourage you to test this out.
It can be as simple as leaning into the discomfort, letting yourself be seen, and sharing what’s true for you right now. How are you feeling? What do you really think? What if all of that was welcomed and accepted?
It may mean first going there within yourself, or maybe you try it out with the person who you feel closest, most seen, and loved with in your life. What would it look like to test out this possibility in your life, even if just a little?
It’s through allowing ourselves to be seen even more, and even when it feels vulnerable, that we can create deeper connections.
I’d love to hear from you. What does this inspire or bring up for you? What’s your biggest takeaway, and what are you wanting to test out?
Sending you love ❤