If you’re hear reading this, chances are you’re not someone who settles… You’re someone who wants to grow, thrive, and experience peace, joy, and love.
So yay for this!!
And truth bomb: with that inevitably comes periods of growth. 😝
A month or so ago I was sharing about how to grow through change and challenges. And I wanted to elaborate on some specific things that will support you, because when we grow, the experience can be uncomfortable, and let’s be honest, sometimes we suffer through it.
But it doesn’t have to be quite like that.
Oftentimes, we don’t even realize that what we’re experiencing is growth. We think something bad is actually happening. Have you gone through times where:
- Your anxiety and stress levels are extremely heightened
- You think there’s something wrong with you
- You feel uncomfortable, confused, angry with the situation
- Maybe you even think you’re going crazy
- You feel “unexplainable” emotions, or feel things even more intensely
- Life feels extra messy and chaotic
Often, just growing pains.
But we misinterpret it as something else, and as something bad.
Here are some things I’ve found to be helpful when I’m going through a period of growth (and in life in general):
#1 Feel your feelings
This sounds so simple, but in times like these, this is so important. (Honestly, it always is, but even more so through change). When you’re growing, all sorts of emotions are going to come up. Change can cause our unconscious stuff to get lit up and shaken up, especially because change terrifies the primal, human part of us that thinks survival is based on staying the same.
When we don’t allow ourselves to experience our emotions, they become bigger. They can get stuck in our bodies (literally), and cause not only tension, blow ups, depression, and confusion, but also physical symptoms manifesting as disease and ailments.
So how do you do this? Begin to notice all the things you do with your emotions now besides feel them. Do you judge them? For example, is it bad to you to feel angry or sad? Do you stuff them down, run away, deny them, or try to fix them?
Notice that, and then start to create small ways where you have permission to simply feel them. Maybe for you that’s starting to get curious and see, where do I feel this in my body?
So maybe it’s getting curious about what anxiety, sadness, or frustration feels like to you. Maybe you pick one time a day where you let them judgements go, and simply have an experience feeling. What’s one way you could start doing less with your feelings, and more simply just feeling them? Your feelings won’t kill you, I promise. And none of them are “bad”. They’re messengers and they are meant to be felt. What if it was ok to feel exactly how you felt?
This is a time to step up your self-care game. I notice that when I’m growing and changing, all those parts of me that have old limiting beliefs start to pipe up. And it’s really important for me to be extra gentle, loving, and kind with myself during these times. That can look like journaling, mirror work, meditation, planning some extra fun, getting some extra sleep…
You can practice self-care by how you’re speaking to yourself, and choosing to be extra conscious to speak to yourself lovingly. Self-care can be done on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. I recommend all four 🙂
Know that you’re going through a process. How would you show up for a friend if they were in the middle of something challenging or hard? What would you do for them?
Then do that thing for yourself. Compassion, love, and self-forgiveness will help you move more gracefully through whatever is coming up for you.
#3 Remember that this is a good thing that is happening
You’re not going crazy, and the world isn’t caving in. Actually, the universe is conspiring in your favor. As I started to shift my thinking from “How quickly can I get through this and make this end?” to “Oh my gosh, good thing this is coming up because that means I’m growing and expanding. Something amazing is happening. I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side…” I started to see how each time I’ve experienced growing pains, something amazing was coming to be in my life. I like this article and video from Mastin Kipp about overwhelm where he shares to start expecting it on the path to creating the life you want to live, and to see that it has a good purpose.
#4 Incorporating more community into your life
Community!! Yay! I love my communities. I’m so grateful for the circles of women that I have, that have been a source of support, love, and connection. Creating community in my life has been such a beautiful process of connecting, expanding, and sharing. In times when I’m challenged, I have women I can connect with and share my experience. They’re also there for times of joy and fun! Sometimes you just need a space to share and to be listened to, and other times you need to receive support, brainstorming, love, or something else. Either way, it’s so important to know that we are not in this alone. There are others who are going through what you are.
If you’re wondering how to create more community in your life, start by letting yourself dream about what you want.
What does that look like for you? Who are these beautiful souls that you want to be connected with?
Sometime last year I realized I wanted deep relationships with amazing women who were living aligned with their soul. I started with just giving myself permission to acknowledge this desire! Now this is a reality in my life and has come to be. We truly can co-create what we desire, and giving yourself permission to dream and to have your wants is a great first step. Know that it’s ok to want what you want, and start with whatever the next step is in creating that.
Community, in my opinion, is a vital part of living a beautiful life.
#5 Start to see the adventure
Yes, some of it is uncomfortable, but then you’ll have moments of clarity, inspiration, lightness, and freedom, or, the exact thing you were wanting comes to be! You never know what treasure is waiting for you around the corner. Change can happen in an instant.
How can you see your current experience as full of possibilities? How can you embrace what is, while also knowing that this is a grand adventure and anything is possible?
Have a little fun with it because, what have you got to lose by doing so?
I’d love to hear from you: Which of these tools do you want to incorporate into your life? What’s one thing you can commit to, that will make your experience of growth and change just a little better, and maybe even a little more fun?