How do you go from:
- Not loving or valuing yourself
- Toxic relationships
- Sadness or depression
- Feeling burdened and trapped
- Feeling powerlessness to your patterns or circumstance
- Having peace within!
- Feeling Joy!
- Having amazing and soul-satisfying relationships!
- Knowing and LOVING who you are, and being clear on your purpose and why you’re here!
- Feeling empowered!
- Feeling free!
Of course, no one’s path is the same, and there will be twists and turns and backtracks and leaps forward. And your struggles and dreams and desires may be different from mine.
But when I look back on times when I’ve struggled or been suffering, I realized that no matter what I was going through, I seemed to walk through the same steps to get to the other side.
So hopefully in me sharing this, it helps you to see that, number one, there IS a way through. And number two, maybe in seeing this it helps you know a next step that’s right for you.
Here they are:
Step 1 – I gained awareness.
I first had to figure out what was going on. Before this step, there was a lot of confusion and it felt like I was in a tornado of thoughts, emotions, and experiences, but that way of life – that confusion and unconsciousness – was just my normal.
Then there came a breaking point where I had had enough, and was ready to see the truth.
In this step you might finally acknowledge or realize something within yourself, or this might be the step where you get a diagnosis.
For example for me, with an eating disorder and OCD having that diagnosis was the first step. In both cases, it was a self-diagnosis. I realized I was unhappy and unsatisfied in some way, and was finally willing to admit it to myself. I admitted to myself that I had an eating disorder. I realized I had OCD (once I learned what it really was).
With toxic relationships, I realized and acknowledged to myself that I was in a relationship that I hated being in. I realized I deserved and desired so much more.
Step 2 – I got resources!
Books, podcasts, courses, signing up for newsletters…. I studied my ass off! I listened, watched, read, studied whatever I could get my hands on that could help, over and over and over.
Step 3 – I got support from professionals.
For me, this was mainly coaches, with a couple specialized therapists for a short amount of time.
Step 4 – I accepted what was happening. I decided to love myself through the process.
I learned to ACCEPT whatever I was experiencing, and realized there is NOTHING wrong with me. I’m simply a human having a human experience.
This step is kind of sprinkled through many of the steps. Sometimes I found the acceptance earlier on then others. Sometimes it was immediate because I didn’t feel shame for whatever struggle I was experiencing – like with toxic relationships. When there was shame, like with OCD or the eating disorder, it took longer to accept that I was experiencing that, and to know that even so, there was nothing wrong with me.
Step 5 – I identified the beliefs at the root of the problem.
My coach was especially vital at helping me identify these beliefs. These were the ingrained thoughts that were keeping me stuck and struggling and IN it.
Step 6 – I chose new beliefs.
Ones that lifted me up, and that were in line with my TRUE self, not the conditioned part of me that was using these beliefs in an attempt to keep me safe (read, to keep me in the familiar and where I was, not where I wanted to be.) I decided to believe whatever I would need to believe in order to become the woman I knew I was meant to be – a woman who was free, happy, peaceful, and living the life she dreamed of.
Step 7 – I drilled in the new beliefs over and over and over.
And I really mean it – they had to be drilled in. Repetition is the key to mastery. I repeated those thoughts and phrases until I could say them in my sleep. I recorded them on my phone so I could listen to them. I wrote them every night. I sang them. I said them in the mirror. Whatever it took to make them my new normal.
Step 8 – I stayed strong even when the problem didn’t go away right away.
Patience. A wise teacher once said, “You don’t force a flower to bloom.” Everything has its natural time. This is a process.
Step 9 – I took baby steps and action everyday, no matter how small the step.
This included facing my fears over and over and over, and doing the opposite of the old way. I took new bold courageous action in self-love.
Step 10 – I stayed willing to try anything.
It takes time to figure out what works. This is an experiment. There is no ONE way. This is a process, and what works for some, may not work for others. It’s about figuring out what works for YOU.
Step 11 – I kept experimenting and kept going and kept trying, being will to make “mistakes” and be imperfect, until I figured out what worked.
There you have it. It’s not rocket science. This stuff works!!
And, you do not ever have to do it alone. This journey is not for the faint of heart. It goes against everything in your programming to make a change.
I’m here to support you on that journey!! If you want to connect 1:1, message me, or book a complimentary Breakthrough Relief Session with me here, to start breaking on through to the other side 🙂
If you feel that ping inside, book your session now – Your future self will thank you! 😘