I’m about to get married – I can’t believe it! Wow, it’s really coming up. It feels very surreal right now, but in just over a month, the “big day” will be here.
In February 2018 my now fiancé proposed to me, so, we’ve been planning off and on for almost a year and a half… And then all of a sudden, the day will be here!
There are several things we did that allowed us to actually ENJOY the planning process and have FUN, believe it or not! So many people talk about how stressful planning a wedding can be. And although I absolutely see how that can be true, a powerful intention to enjoy the process goes a long way.
That being said, I’m also human. And there have been ups and downs and an emotional roller coaster at times. There’s so much to consider, so many decisions to make, not to mention processing the fact that you’re taking this big next step in life and love.
I’m really proud of the ways we’ve had fun and kept a healthy perspective on things. I’m also grateful for the lessons I’ve learned or strengthened as I’ve gone through this process.
Whether or not your planning a wedding, these are life lessons that can make an impact for you right now, no matter where you’re at.
So here we go:
#1 Stop searching for the best!
As a recovering perfectionist and over-controller, this lesson has been greatly strengthened during the wedding planning process.
When you search for the “best”, you’re bound for stress.
And the idea that there is even a “best” is totally made up in our minds. What if there are multiple different “bests” and you’re simply choosing one?
So instead, I allowed my intuition to decide on lots of things.
I actively practiced LETTING GO and letting good enough BE good enough.
I reveled in the feeling of a decision being made, and TRUSTING that decision was the best, simply because it was the one we made.
For example, we could have spent days upon days trying to figure out the best decorations, spending more than we wanted to in order to find and have the “best” solution.
OR, we could pick a direction, have some fun with it, and let it be good enough. Which do you think feels better and is more fun?
And guess what? Our decorations look great! AND, most people probably won’t remember them anyways. 😆
You can feel automatically more peaceful when you stop trying to search for the “best”, and instead just ask yourself, “Do I like this or not?” If you don’t, maybe pick something else. But if you do, that may be your “best” right there. As the saying goes, done IS better than perfect.
#2 Your ability to get present is directly related to your success, happiness, and peace.
Here’s the thing – Anxiety can only exist in the past or the future. It cannot exist in a truly present moment.
There have been times in this process that I’ve gotten caught up in all the to-do’s, or had all my energy in the future. And that can feel so overwhelming and stressful! (There’s even a countdown on wedding websites that let’s you know how many days in the future you are, lol 😆)
What’s helped me ground down and calm down are simply tools to get present.
This doesn’t have to be complicated. For example, you can simply notice the tree branches moving as the wind blows through them, and give yourself a few moments to take that in. That’s presence!
Any time you can get into your five senses, you’re getting present. So, you can notice what you’re feeling, seeing, and smelling for example. I like to do this with really pleasurable things, like the wind blowing through the trees, or the taste of espresso.
When you get present, you can allow the worries and the list of to-do’s to fall away, even if just for a few moments. It might even open up space for energy, inspiration, and creative solutions to flow through, leading you to success you wouldn’t have had, had you just kept going, going, going.
In order to feel happier, have more success, and feel more peaceful, try this: For one day, pick some things that you love and get into your five senses. Do this as many times as you can throughout the day and notice your energy shift and a sense of calm come over you.
Other tools for getting present include deep breathing while you bring awareness to the breath, as well as any form of meditation. The things I’m mentioning above are actually active meditation as well.
Have fun with this and let me know what you discover!
#3 Knowing your WHY changes everything.
For anything you do in life, if you’re not connected to the purpose behind it, it can easily feel draining, unexciting, or like there’s just an endless to-do list.
But, if you take a moment to tune in and ask yourself, “What’s the purpose behind this, for me?” not only can you have energy and feel like your gas tank was just filled up to full, but you can also:
- Be more connected to the heart of the to-do.
- Know what is not important and drop it from the list all together.
- Eliminate procrastination and experience motivation.
- Gain clarity and creative inspiration.
Over the course of this process when I’ve felt overwhelmed or on an emotional roller coaster, I’ve taken some time to journal and remind myself of the powerful reasons WHY we’re doing this. Taking these five minutes allowed me to come back to myself and my own personal reasons, and stay really connected to what’s true and important for me. My emotions and clarity could shift in an instant.
Imagine all the ways you can use this perspective. You can use it if you’re working towards a health or weight goal. You can use it for your career. You can use it if you’re dating and wanting to be in a relationship. Honestly, it’s limitless! In fact, this is something I incorporate into my everyday, journaling in the morning on the purpose behind each thing I’ll do that day, as well as knowing the purpose behind my bigger goals.
To break this down, let’s take the healthy weight goal. You don’t really have that goal simply to just weigh a lower number. You might be doing it in order to have more energy, to feel lighter, to discover your physical potential, to have healthier joints, to be able to enjoy life more… See how digging a little deeper can be so powerful? And that purpose is going to be unique to you. A similar goal might have a totally different WHY for someone else.
(You might also notice that the purpose is something like, “To feel good enough.” And in that case, you might want to address that more directly rather than the misunderstanding that weighing less itself will give you worth on a deep level. This stuff is powerful!)
If you’re feeling in procrastination, underwhelmed, or in a rat race to just cross off all the to-do’s already, try this simple process of getting clear on your WHY. To do this, you can journal on the question, “What’s the purpose behind this, for me?” Or, you can ask yourself that question, and then do a few minutes of meditation, while you allow the answer to flow to you easily and effortlessly.
So there you have it. Everything in life is here with gifts and lessons for us. It’s up to us to receive those gifts, and to learn and apply the lessons.
There are so many gifts and lessons I’m receiving through this growth process. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a part two to this 😆
I can’t wait to hear your takeaways! Share in the comments below.
Sending you wishes for an amazing day!