The day is almost here! In just a few days, I’ll be married!! 😄✨💕
The excitement is building and I almost can’t believe it’s coming up so soon!
I knew there would be at least one follow up to my previous article 3 Life Lessons from Planning a Wedding.
And here it is 😊 I absolutely had to share more, because this process has been incredibly transformative for me in the best way possible. I’ve seen my ability to let go, I’ve noticed patterns that can get in my way, and I’ve witnessed the power of intentions.
My fiancé and I, from the very beginning, set an intention to ENJOY this process, and to let things be simple. We decided from the start to do this in a way that felt good for us, staying true to who we are, and creating a wedding and ceremony that was full of all the things that were important to us when it comes to our wedding itself – love, meaning, simplicity, and joy. And that intention was powerful enough to create all of that – enjoyment, a wedding that’s true to who we are, simplicity…
I also noticed that I’m typically a big picture kind of person, and I strengthened my muscles in the area of details and thinking things through in the more logistical, strategic kind of way. GREAT skills to have moving forward 😄
As I was sharing a few weeks ago, I’ve grown stronger in letting good enough be good enough, getting really present, and staying connected to my Why.
So many amazing things coming through this growth, transformation, and creation process!
And I know after the big day, once we’re married, I’ll have even more to share with you of course. 💕
But for now, I want to share the following three more things that are powerful in life, whether or not you’re planning a wedding:
#4 Lessons in People Pleasing
So how many of you struggle with people pleasing? It seems like this affects a lot of people! The more I learn about myself, to more I understand the nuances of people pleasing, and begin to shed layers around this and deepen my wisdom.
If you’ve ever studied the Enneagram personality types, Type 9 is called the Peacemaker. (If you haven’t studied it, it’s a really great tool to check out for self-awareness. You can learn more here.)
The Peacemaker personality type is all about keeping the peace and wanting everyone to be happy, but at the sacrifice of knowing and honoring his or her own opinions and desires. The growth path for the Peacemaker is to understand that your desires and opinions matter, and that it’s ok for others to not like it.
What I learned through planning my wedding is that sometimes I’m concerned with other people’s happiness, even when they are totally fine! I worried about who to choose for a reading in our wedding, who to give toasts, etc. When for pretty much everyone that I was worried about, they were happy either way, and they weren’t even thinking about it!
What I realized is that this part of me that wants everyone to be happy and feel good all the time – this part might never fully go away. But, I can learn how to relate to it differently. And then as a result, it transforms a bit.
So what this looks like is:
- Offering myself compassion, because I know the people pleasing is coming from a place of caring.
- Then, getting down to the root of it. At the core of people pleasing is typically a fear that if you don’t, you’ll lose love.
- So, that’s really what we address. It’s bringing love directly to this part of us that thinks we have to please others in order to be worthy of deserving of love, which just isn’t true.
- Once you’ve done that, it will be much easier to know how to move forward, in a way that’s staying true to you, feels courageous, and will be good for the whole. Because when you come from a place of love and stay true to yourself, you can’t go wrong. Only good can come from that.
#5 How to Be More Decisive
I LOVED practicing this!! Here’s what it comes down to: No matter how “good” or “bad” the decision is, making a decision itself feels WAY better than spending too much time thinking about it and weighing the options.
Of course sometimes we need to think things through. But oftentimes, we overthink it, and torture ourselves in trying to figure out the “best” solution.
Plus, nothing is really all that permanent, so if it’s not the “best” decision, you’ll figure it out from there, and can decide differently next time. You have to make decisions and take action to accomplish anything. It’s the path to success, and those “mistakes” along the way are just success steps.
Simply realizing how much better it felt to make a decision versus stay in limbo was enough to help me become more decisive. For more tips and tricks on this, check out 6 Ways to Stop Over Thinking, especially #5 on that list.
I love ending with this ❤️ I’ve had such a journey with learning to receive, so far in my life, and I’m sure it will continue to expand and unfold.
This is a big one.
The thing is, I thought I was good at receiving. I would let people give things to me, for example. But the receiving always came from a fear or from scarcity. I was scared that I wouldn’t have enough, and so I would receive. That also led to fear of giving.
The next phase in my journey was realizing that I didn’t really understand how to receive with an open heart, or what that looked like. I started trying to practice it, but I still needed time. I knew I wasn’t quite there.
And then more recently, as over the past couple years I’ve really practiced living with an ABUNDANCE mindset, I finally started to get it. I really started to embody receiving in an open and abundant way. And concurrently, I’ve also been able to give with an open heart, knowing that there is always more than enough.
In planning a wedding, you just can’t do it all. So, we’ve received help in the form of financial gifts, time, skills, energy, creativity, and of course feeling showered with so much love around us.❤️
Some favorite practices I love around receiving, that have helped me embody this feminine gift include:
- If you receive a check or money in the mail or into your account, thank the person by name, and physically open your arms and chest joyfully saying, “Thank you! I am open to more!” or “Thank you! More please!”
- Any physical movements where you’re opening up your heart, including rolling your shoulders back, throwing your arms out, leaning your head back and expressing gratitude.
- Receiving a compliment without giving one back. Simply saying, “Thank you,” and letting it sink in.
- Letting someone take care of something for you.
- Letting someone cut you a break – Funnily enough, I noticed myself want to tense up when we received a deal or discount from a vendor, like a negotiated price on our rings for example, and I would almost feel bad for the offer. So what I did was notice that reaction, and then lean into receiving, affirming that there was more than enough to go around.
So there you have it! Three more life lessons in the books 😝😆
If you’d like some support in any and all of the above, and want to create a life you’re in love with, let’s chat! You can book a time here.
I’ll catch you on the flipside once I’m a MARRIED WOMAN! 😄 Until then, sending you light, love, and joy 😘
Photo credit: Jess Lowman Photography