Is your fear voice getting louder?
How do we deal with that voice of fear, that can get so loud sometimes? And why does it come up loudest when good things are happening in your life? In this blog post I share about the fear voice, why it’s here, and how to work with it.
A few years ago, I was going through a pretty dark time in my life. Actually, things were just starting to get really good, but at the same time, in certain aspects of my life I felt like I was at the bottom of dark well, unsure how to get out.
Even though my life was starting to blossom in the most magical ways (with an amazing relationship, a new business, and living in a new city), I was concurrently beginning to feel some of the deepest depths of fear, panic, and anxiety that I’d ever felt.
And I believe it’s exactly because things were getting so good, that all this metaphorical mud was kicked up internally within me.
And I have the sneaking suspicion that I’m not the only one who has ever experienced this. In fact, I know I’m not. I hear it from other women around me, and was just supporting a close friend of mine with this exact thing this past week.
When things get good, we’re asked to expand in order to hold the capacity for more goodness in our life.
And sometimes that expansion can bring up fear, doubt, and anxiety. Even though it was the beginning of something amazing, there was still intense fear and anxiety. I had more things coming in to my life that I cared about, and thus, more things that the scared part of me had to be scared about losing.
It was up to ME to choose faith, and to decide how I was going to navigate this very challenging time in my life, and these difficult emotions. It was up to me, at times, to say "I've had enough!" to this voice, and simply remove myself from the internal conversation.
And it was NOT easy.
There were many days (most of them actually) where I would wake up, and as soon as my brain could come to, my mind would begin searching (and easily find) the things I "needed" to worry about, obsess on, or fear for. I had created a habit of worry and anxiety, rather than a habit of peace, faith, and trust.
So when I had the blessing to support a dear friend this past week with this very thing, I knew I had to share with you as well.
Here is what I shared with her:
“You gotta feel it. You have to feel the intense emotions of fear and anxiety moving through you - this intense discomfort and pain.
And then keep going.
For awhile it felt like everyday I just had to pull myself up by my bootstraps and remind myself, “No one is gonna do this for you Angie.” And I had to do the difficult work of practicing peace, even when my emotions told me otherwise. It’s in small choices and actions - what you choose to affirm and focus on, and what you allow to be the decider of your actions (the fear emotions? or your higher self and values...)
This voice comes through so harsh and feels so real. But with time you become so strong and so aware of the truth of this voice - that it’s just a part of you that’s scared! That’s all!
It is not telling you facts, but just trying really hard to protect you. It seems messed up, but that’s really what it’s trying to do. I think it’s actually here to help us grow stronger in our truth and knowing of who we really are.
I’ve been in this exact place so you can trust me when I say that NONE OF IT IS TRUE. But what’s more important is that you dig deep within yourself to touch the part of you that is ACTUALLY the true you. This part that feels how much suffering this is causing, and also knows that YOU ARE PERFECT, YOU CANNOT MESS THIS UP, YOU ARE DIVINELY SUPPORTED IN ALL WAYS, all IS well.
It’s deeply painful to allow it, and so scary to not try to fix it. (When we try to fix it we just give it more energy.) But it’s where we build our strength and declare to the world that we are choosing our Truth with a capital T, even when it feels so far away or so challenged by these other “facts” or thoughts. So breathing through it and allowing it - and sometimes it becomes too much and we have to take a break, and that’s ok too.
Every time you choose to let it be and move through you, you do become stronger and more connected to your truth, and this pattern becomes weaker. The foundation of it gets chipped away from. The energy it has dwindles. So in those moments where you can dig deep and TRUST and have FAITH that even THIS is ok - those moments matter. They’re cumulative, and over time, it becomes your norm to instantly tune into surrender, faith, and trust.”
I hope that this brings some light to you, if you're feeling that voice grow louder. It may be that a lot of goodness is coming in to your life. You may be being asked to expand in your capacity to receive it, and to know you're worthy of it.
When the fear, anxiety, or doubt comes up, remember to breathe. Dig deep within yourself and connect with what actually matters to you, and what you WANT to happen. Feel into THAT.
Overtime, rather than fearing and worrying about what you don’t want to happen, you’ll create new habits of imagining what you desire coming true. It feels a WHOLE lot better, and is WAY more effective. Give it a try, and I'd love to hear how it's going and any questions you have in the comments below. ❤️
Sending love and light,
Angie
If you liked this post, you might also like these…
Anxiety and fear can be so difficult to experience, especially when it’s happening all the time. But, by learning how to work with these emotions, we can more easily move forward rather than feeling stuck or controlled by our fear and anxiety.
As a sensitive person, you may find that you often get triggered into fight or flight or a stress response. Maybe you’re really familiar with feeling stress, anxiety, or fear, and have patterns of reactions that you wish you didn’t have. The way to deal with this might be the opposite of what you think, but when you respond in a certain way, you have the power to heal and move forward, experiencing less anxiety and overwhelm in the long run.
When we start working together, so many of my clients have this deep belief that there’s something wrong with them. It’s a misunderstanding, and here are ten solid reasons why it’s untrue.
Let’s let things be easy for a little. Approach changes and new ways of thinking with an “it’s an experiment” attitude, and watch how much quicker you can get on board with the ideas. It takes the pressure off. In this article I share about doing this with your worry habits.
Life’s magic lies in uncertainty, yet when we have anxiety or are filled with fear, that’s the last thing we want. But, when we learn how to ride those waves of uncertainty, and begin to feel SAFE letting go of control, that’s when life opens up and we can do, be, and have what we truly desire, without feeling held back or limited by the need to control and have it all figured out.
Learn about the simple way to know when it’s time to lower your expectations, and how this will help you feel a deeper sense of peace and ease in your life, right away. Plus, you’ll get better results.
When you learn how to listen to your intution over your fear, life can expand in all the ways you’ve dreamed of. Being willing to work with fear allows you to feel free to live the life you know deep down you desire.
Rather than trying to control your emotions, letting yourself feel them will give you more freedom and help you to feel empowered in your life. It’s a simple shift in perspective that creates lightness, ease, and freedom within yourself. You don’t have to try to control your emotions anymore. You just need to let yourself feel them.
Learn about your Zone of Optimal Arousal so that you can support yourself in getting out of overwhelm, anxiety, and exhaustion. Highly Sensitive People or HSPs tend to have a smaller zone of optimal arousal and need more tools in order to come back to a place of feeling calm, happy, and peaceful. This helpful tool will do just that.
When we go against our natural rhythm, it can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and overwhelm among other things. Learn how and why to allow yourself to rest, pause, and do less, so that you can have more energy, feel happier, and feel more like yourself. If you’re HSP (a Highly Sensitive Person), you may have a biological reason for needing more rest and downtime. Gain knowledge I use in life coaching to help people know and honor what pace works for them.
When we feel stuck in life, sometimes what we need is a good dose of courage. If we’re willing to look within ourselves and face what’s there, we become free. From there, we can gain clarity and learn how to just be ourselves. We go from powerlessness to empowered, and insecurity to self-confidence. Life coaching can help you have the motivation for this type of work.
It's time to wake ourselves up and understand what it means to be an ally to people of color.
Sometimes self-care and self-nurturing are the last things on our to-do lists. But what can happen is that we wind up feeling disconnected from ourselves, exhausted, and unhappy. And if we’re highly sensitive we need even more self-care than others. Learn an easy life coaching tool to lighten your load and shift from a negative mindset into a more positive one.
Studies have shown that putting pen to paper can activate different parts of our brain, and help us gain clarity. Use these journaling prompts to make the most of a challenging time, and help sort through confusion or just living life status quo. You have the power to go from overwhelm and confusion to peace, calm, and clarity.
Four powerful life coaching tools you can use no matter what you’re feeling. In these uncertain times, many of us are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, especially HSPs (Highly Sensitive People). That’s because our nervous system is being asked of a lot right now. Self-acceptance is the best practice - allowing yourself to be exactly where you’re at.
With all that’s going on in the world, you might feel overwhelmed and feel waves of emotions. If you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) you may feel this more than others. Journaling is a powerful tool I use as a life coach to help people gain clarity, have more ease, and find direction in their lives. Use these journaling prompts to slow down and hear your own inner voice.
Life is really uncertain, and when we’re uncomfortable with uncertainty, unfortunately it can create a lot of suffering in our life. It can even lead to anxiety disorders like OCD. But when we can learn to embrace uncertainty by living according to our values, we go from feeling controlled by our emotions and our circumstances to being in control of our lives. We can begin to feel empowered again.
Learn how to feel like you’re doing enough by using this shift in perspective, and finally start to feel ok resting and relaxing. We often feel overwhelmed and overworked, yet think we need to keep going and do more. The truth is you’re doing enough, and there is a lot of value in resting, play, and pleasure. Gain self-worth by not putting all your worth in your productivity.
Overwhelm isn’t just about having too much on your plate, or thinking too many steps ahead. It can also come from overly-embodying masculine energy, and discounting the value of feminine energy. In this article I break down common misunderstandings about these energies, so that you can begin to feel more harmony and balance in your life, and feel like you can catch a deep breath again.
Overthinking is the worst. Ami right? Especially when it comes to decisions. We can go back and forth and drive ourselves crazy. Learn a simple decision-making life coaching tool , practical ways to experiment with better decision making, and some ways you can use decisions that you probably haven’t thought of yet.
Use this New Year’s process from Life Coach Angie Ilg to help ring in the new year with clarity and motivation.
Our inner critical voice can be so loud sometimes. At times we might not even be able to distinguish between ourselves and this voice. But there are tools we can use to tune in to our true self, and hear our loving inner voice, so that we can begin to be kinder to ourselves. This allows us to feel happier and more content in life.
If you’re feeling stuck, or life is just feeling status quo, it might be a sign that you’re resisting doing what scares you (but deep down you know is best). Often we resist change because it feels safer or we feel more in control that way. It may feel safer but it also feels extremely limiting. But when we lean in and say “yes” (to whatever that next step is) our life begins to open up. It may feel scary, but you will also feel more alive. Use these perspectives to help clarify your next step and feel more confident moving forward.
Life in the world we live in can so easily be chaotic and noisy. All this noise can create self-doubt, confusion, anxiety, and overwhelm. When we find ways to simplify our life, not only does it help create more peace and calm, but it also creates less anxiety and overwhelm, because in the magic of simplicity, we’re able to hear our own inner guidance more, and learn to trust that.
In our culture, we often identify our worth with our busyness, and wear busyness as a badge of honor. But all this running around can leave us exhausted and disconnected. It’s empowering to realize how much of a choice you have in what and how much you do, and that you have more of a say than you think. With this shift, you can start to prioritize and live according to your values. What a breath of fresh air and way less burden to carry.
Learning to trust ourselves may seem like this nebulous thing, or far out of reach, especially if you’ve spent a lot of time listening to your inner critic and believing what you hear. But there’s a very gentle, subtle, feminine way we can begin to trust ourselves again, and set this inner critical voice to the side. It’s incredibly empowering and freeing. Use these life coaching tools to learn how.
How many ways do we doubt ourselves? Let me count the ways! It’s become so ingrained in our culture, especially if you identify as a woman, to doubt yourself - what you do, how you dress, how much you do, what you say, what you look like… Yet, this is not our natural state. We weren’t born doubting. We learned to doubt. And we can make the empowered CHOICE to begin to TRUST. Yes, it’s a choice, and it can be practiced and learned.
In a culture that expects us to be constantly productive, and lives little time or wisdom for slowing down, it’s easy to become disconnected with the truth of who we are. I work with coaching clients all the time who feel this way - they don’t have a clear sense of their true self. But who we are is underneath all that pressure and busyness. It’s there in the stillness. It’s our essence, and it can never be taken away or lost, only recovered.
If you’re going through a change in your life, even a good change, the transition can be filled with all sorts of emotions. Especially when it’s a good change, and you’re in a period of self-growth, this can feel confusing. “Shouldn’t I be happy?” you might think. In this post you’ll learn about the wisdom of change and expansion, and how to embrace all that you feel, knowing that it’s just right, just as it is.
Our brains are both complex and simple at the same time - they keep coming back to the same patterns of thinking, and often these patterns are creating anxiety or struggle within us. By understanding them and knowing how to practice another line of thinking, you can start to ENJOY your life more.